300+ Hilarious Matt Jokes That Instantly Crack Everyone Up 😄

Matt jokes are some of the most reliably funny name-based humour around — partly because the name is everywhere, and partly because it just begs to be punned.

Whether you know a Matt who takes himself a little too seriously, or you are the Matt in question and you’ve learned to embrace the chaos, there’s something uniquely satisfying about a well-aimed name joke. Humour built around names works because it feels personal without actually being mean — it’s the linguistic equivalent of a friendly shove. Research from the British Journal of Psychology even suggests that wordplay activates the brain’s reward centres in ways similar to solving a puzzle, which explains why a good pun makes you groan and grin at the same time.

This article delivers well over 300 of the best Matt jokes — one liners, puns, knock knock jokes, workplace zingers, relationship quips, and everything in between. Whether you’re texting a friend named Matt, roasting him at his birthday, or you just enjoy clever wordplay, you’ll find something here that actually lands.

Key Takeaways

• Over 300 original Matt jokes organised into 17 themed categories so you can find exactly what you need fast
• Includes clean Matt jokes safe for all ages alongside sharper adult humour for the right crowd
• Features knock knock jokes, puns, one liners, and clever Matt name comebacks — not just filler
• Every joke was written to actually be funny, not just to exist on a page

Matt Jokes One Liners

1. Matt walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll it be?” Matt says, “Surprise me.” The bartender names him Dave.
2. I told Matt he was average. He said, “Mathematically, that tracks.”
3. Matt’s GPS said “you have arrived.” Matt said, “I know, I’ve been told I’m a lot.” 😄
4. Asked Matt if he believed in fate. He said, “I’m a Matt — people walk all over me.”
5. Matt’s autobiography is just one word: “Fine.”
6. My friend Matt is so reliable. He shows up, lies flat, and takes everything that comes his way. 🙃
7. Matt told me he was turning over a new leaf. I told him that’s what doormats do.
8. Why is Matt always calm? Because nothing rattles a mat.
9. Matt said he finally found his purpose. Turns out it was underfoot the whole time.
10. I asked Matt for his best quality. He said, “I’m easy to walk over and hard to get rid of.”
11. Matt entered a spelling bee. They eliminated him in round one for writing his own name wrong.
12. Matt’s life motto: absorb everything, complain about nothing. 😂
13. Asked Matt what his spirit animal was. He said a doormat — low profile, high utility.
14. My friend Matt is great at parties. He lies there looking welcoming all night.
15. Matt’s therapist told him to stand up for himself. He said, “Technically I’m more of a horizontal person.”

Funny Matt Jokes

1. Matt got a promotion at work. He’s now the senior mat in the hallway.
2. I told Matt he had a face that belonged on a welcome sign. He hasn’t decided if that’s a compliment yet.
3. What’s Matt’s favourite yoga pose? Flat on his back — it comes naturally.
4. Matt tried journaling. Every entry just said, “Same. Still here.”
5. Matt’s dating profile said “easy-going.” Turns out he meant it literally. 😄
6. I asked Matt what he thought about people who step on others to get ahead. He said, “Story of my life, honestly.”
7. Matt went to a self-help seminar. They told him to find his foundation. He said, “Already am one.”
8. What do you call Matt when he’s being extra quiet? A welcome silence.
9. Matt tried meditating. His therapist said he was already halfway there — he just needed to stop apologising for it.
10. My dog loves Matt. Then again, my dog loves every mat.
11. Matt says he’s a people person. People do seem very comfortable putting their feet on him. 🙂
12. What’s the difference between Matt and a rug? One has slightly more opinions.
13. Matt’s friends threw him a surprise party. He absorbed the shock like a true professional.
14. Why did Matt become a therapist? He was already used to people dumping everything on him.
15. Matt said he’s been working on his confidence. The welcome sign out front is now in a bolder font.

Short Matt Jokes

1. Matt: always underfoot, never underrated.
2. Why did Matt win the calmness award? He never raised himself off the ground. 😄
3. Matt’s philosophy: lie low, stay useful.
4. What do Matt and WiFi have in common? Everyone relies on them and no one says thank you.
5. Matt’s superpower? Absorbing chaos without losing his shape.
6. Two Matts walk into a room. The floor immediately felt validated.
7. Matt doesn’t ghost people. He just becomes part of the furniture.
8. What’s Matt’s best quality? He’s always there when you arrive.
9. Matt doesn’t argue. He just waits for you to step over him.
10. You can always count on Matt to be flat-out there for you. 😂
11. Matt’s catchphrase: “Walk on me. I can take it.”
12. Matt got a standing ovation. He wasn’t sure how to feel — he prefers laying down.
13. What’s Matt’s love language? Acts of service, specifically wiping your feet on him.
14. Matt doesn’t need a spotlight. He just needs a doorway.
15. Matt’s life in three words: beneath, between, below.

Clean Matt Jokes Everyone Can Enjoy

1. Why does everyone love Matt at the entrance? He makes everyone feel welcome without saying a word.
2. What did the teacher say to Matt? “You have the potential to go places — mostly under people’s feet, but still.”
3. Matt applied for a job as a flooring inspector. He said he already had years of ground-level experience.
4. What’s the most polite thing about Matt? He always lets people walk all over him and never complains. 😊
5. My nephew met a guy named Matt at camp. He said Matt was “really down to earth.” I have never been prouder.
6. What does Matt bring to every party? A warm welcome and a low profile.
7. Why did Matt get elected class president? Everyone could walk all over him and still feel good about it.
8. Matt volunteered to be the doorman. He didn’t get the door, just the mat part.
9. What do you call Matt when he’s in a great mood? A welcome mat — open, flat, and happy to see you.
10. Matt’s hobby is collecting compliments. So far his favourite is “reliable.”
11. Why is Matt the best travel companion? He fits in everywhere and never causes a scene. 😄
12. What’s Matt’s favourite movie? “The Floor Below” — he watched it lying down.
13. Matt became an architect. He specialised in foundations.
14. Why do people trust Matt? Because he’s always right there when you need him and never moves on you unexpectedly.
15. Matt won the “Most Dependable” award three years running. He accepted it from the ground up.

Matt Jokes for Kids

1. Why did Matt bring a ladder to school? Because someone told him his grades were below average and he wanted to step it up!
2. What do you call Matt when he’s really happy? Mat-tastic! 😄
3. Knock knock. Who’s there? Matt. Matt who? Matt-ter of fact, I’m the funniest person here.
4. What’s Matt’s favourite subject? Flat-hematics.
5. Why did Matt get an award for being quiet? Because he was outstanding in his field — specifically, the field he was lying in.
6. What did the welcome mat say to Matt? “Finally, someone who gets me.”
7. Matt tried to play hide and seek. Everyone found him immediately — he was just lying there.
8. What sport is Matt best at? Flooring the competition. 🙂
9. Why does Matt always know the answer? He’s been beneath it all along.
10. What’s Matt’s favourite snack? Flat bread, obviously.
11. Matt became a superhero. His power was being impossible to move.
12. Why did Matt become a chef? He was already great at getting stepped on — he figured pastry couldn’t be much worse.
13. What’s Matt’s favourite animal? A flatfish. They understand him.
14. Matt told a joke in class. The teacher said, “That was grounded.” Matt said, “Thank you.”
15. Why does everyone invite Matt to sleepovers? He always brings his own mat.

Matt Jokes for Adults

1. Matt told his therapist he felt walked over constantly. His therapist said, “That’s called Tuesday.”
2. Why did Matt’s relationship end? She said she needed someone who could rise to the occasion. He said, “I do — I go from flat to slightly elevated.”
3. Matt’s Tinder bio: “Low maintenance, high availability, and I won’t move unless you ask.”
4. I asked Matt how his dating life was going. He said, “People swipe right, step on me, and leave. So, normal.”
5. Matt went on a wellness retreat. They told him to find his centre. He said, “I’ve been centred under the doorway for years.” 😄
6. Why did Matt quit his gym? He kept getting called a pushover.
7. Matt’s love life in one sentence: “Come in, stay a while, wipe your problems on me.”
8. What does Matt say after a breakup? “I’ll be here when you come back. I’m always here.”
9. Matt’s career advice: be essential, stay humble, and never let them see you buckle.
10. Why did Matt’s boss love him? He could take enormous amounts of pressure without changing shape.
11. Matt does not do drama. He does do silent suffering at the threshold of a busy household.
12. What’s Matt’s idea of a wild Friday night? Lying flat in a different room for a change. 😂
13. Matt says he has commitment issues. He’s been in the same spot for eleven years.
14. I told Matt he needed to set some boundaries. He said he had — they were just horizontal.
15. Matt’s doctor told him to stand up for himself more. Matt said, “You first. My knees hurt.”

Knock Knock Jokes About Matt

1. Knock knock. Who’s there? Matt. Matt who? Matt you be the most welcoming person I know? Yes, actually.
2. Knock knock. Who’s there? Matt. Matt who? Matt-ter how many times you knock, I’ll always let you in.
3. Knock knock. Who’s there? It’s Matt. It’s Matt who? It’s Matt-ematically impossible for you to be this funny. 😄
4. Knock knock. Who’s there? Matt. Matt who? Matt your expectations — I exceeded them lying down.
5. Knock knock. Who’s there? Matt. Matt who? Matt-urity means knowing when to stay quiet. I’ve been practising.
6. Knock knock. Who’s there? Matt. Matt who? Matt-inée at your place — I brought snacks and low expectations.
7. Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Matt. Not Matt who? Not Matt-ter — he’s already inside making himself comfortable on the floor. 🙂
8. Knock knock. Who’s there? Matt. Matt who? Matt-ters a lot what you think of me, but I’m too cool to show it.
9. Knock knock. Who’s there? Matt. Matt who? Matt-hematics says there’s a 100% chance I’m funnier than you.
10. Knock knock. Who’s there? Matt. Matt who? Matt-inally, someone knocked. I’ve been waiting here all day.

The Fun Continues Here: 400+ Funny Salad Puns That’ll Lettuce Make You Laugh Instantly

Matt Puns and Wordplay

1. Matt is truly a man of the ground floor — no pretensions, just foundation.
2. You can always count on Matt to be flat-out fantastic.
3. Matt doesn’t just show up — he makes an entrance by lying across it.
4. When Matt cracks a joke, it really lands. Usually on the floor.
5. Matt’s always been grounded. Some people reach for the sky; Matt reaches for the doorstep. 😄
6. You could say Matt has a very mat-ure outlook on life.
7. Matt’s not low-key, he’s just low. Horizontally speaking.
8. I’d say Matt is outstanding, but technically he’s underlaying.
9. Life with Matt is a mat-ter of perspective — from the ground up.
10. Matt keeps it 100 — 100% flat, 100% reliable, 100% there when you arrive.
11. The thing about Matt is he’s never two-faced. He only has one, and it faces up. 🙂
12. Matt brings a lot to the table. Specifically, he’s what you wipe your feet on before getting to the table.
13. Matt’s emotional range: neutral, content, and mildly absorbing.
14. Matt’s big on support — he gives it structurally.
15. You want someone steady in your life? Get a Matt. They don’t shift. Ever.
16. Mat-titude is everything — and Matt has it in spades.
17. Matt’s the kind of friend who stays put. Literally and figuratively. 😂
18. Is Matt a morning person? Depends. He’s always on the floor when you wake up, so interpret that how you like.
19. Matt said he wanted to be more flexible. His chiropractor said he was already impressively flat.
20. The real mat-hematics of friendship: Matt plus loyalty equals someone who never leaves your entryway.

Best Matt Name Jokes and Clever Comebacks

1. “Is your name Matt?” “Yes.” “Figures — everyone walks over you and somehow you still end up in the right place.”
2. Matt’s name means “gift of God.” Which explains why everyone’s grateful he’s there and no one thinks about where he came from.
3. “You look like a Matt.” “What does that mean?” “Reliable, level-headed, and somehow always underfoot.” 😄
4. If Matt had a theme song it would be “Welcome to the Jungle” — he’s the mat at the door.
5. The only time Matt raises his voice is when someone almost steps on the cat. He’s been doing it for years.
6. Matt’s name is an anagram of… Matt. Which is perfect because he’s exactly what he says he is.
7. “Do people walk all over you?” “Only the ones with good taste in flooring.”
8. Matt doesn’t need a last name. One word, total clarity, no follow-up questions.
9. Some names require explanation. Matt just requires a doorway.
10. “Matt is such a common name.” “So is oxygen, and we couldn’t survive without it.” 🙂
11. Matt’s nickname used to be “the floor” until he got a promotion to “the welcome mat.” Growth.
12. People always remember Matt. Not because he’s flashy, but because they wipe their feet on him every single day.
13. Matt doesn’t rise to challenges. He absorbs them.
14. “Hey, are you Matt?” “Depends. Did you just step on me?” “No.” “Then I might be him.”
15. Matt told me his name comes from Hebrew. It means gift. I said, “Ah, so you’re a floor covering with religious origins.”

Matt Jokes About Personality

1. Matt isn’t cold — he’s just room temperature. Consistently.
2. Matt’s energy is best described as ambient. Helpful, present, and easy to ignore until you need him.
3. People always say Matt is grounded. No one realises how literal that is.
4. Matt’s biggest personality trait is availability. He is always just… there.
5. Matt doesn’t overthink things. He under-thinks them, from below, very quietly. 😄
6. Matt’s vibe: stable. His frequency: low. His value: extremely high once you realise you’ve been stepping on him.
7. Matt’s the kind of person who doesn’t just go with the flow — he becomes the floor beneath it.
8. The world needs more Matts: consistent, unflashy, and impossible to truly move.
9. Matt has no ego. You literally cannot have an ego when people have been standing on you since 1987.
10. Matt’s personality in one word: foundational.
11. What makes Matt great? He never needs the attention — he just provides the support. 🙂
12. Matt is everyone’s rock. Specifically, the flat rock people put at the entrance.
13. Matt doesn’t do drama because drama requires standing up, and Matt has a system.
14. Some people are complicated. Matt is refreshingly simple — not shallow, just horizontal.
15. Matt’s superpower is emotional steadiness. He’s had a lot of practice having things dumped on him.

Matt Jokes About Friendship

1. Matt’s friendship style: silent loyalty, constant presence, no complaints.
2. Being friends with Matt is easy — he’s always at the door when you arrive. 😄
3. Matt will never leave you. Partially because of loyalty, partially because he hasn’t moved since 2019.
4. Friends come and go. Matt stays, specifically right there, in that spot, for years.
5. The thing about Matt as a friend is that you never have to wonder where he stands. He’s always flat.
6. Matt doesn’t give advice. He absorbs your problems and hopes for the best.
7. You want a loyal friend? Matt has been at the same spot every single day. Commitment level: maximum.
8. Matt’s friendship love language is just being there. Right there. Every time. Without fail. 🙂
9. Matt doesn’t cancel plans. He doesn’t make plans. He’s simply always available.
10. You never lose Matt in a crowd. You find him at the entrance, exactly where you left him.
11. Matt’s the kind of friend who remembers everything you wiped on him — and never brings it up.
12. If friendship were a floor covering, it would be Matt: durable, warm, and incredibly underappreciated.
13. Matt is the friend who says nothing but somehow makes you feel steadier just by being near.
14. Every friend group has a Matt. If yours doesn’t, you might be the Matt. 😂
15. True friendship is Matt-level: reliable, underfoot, and somehow holding everything together.

Matt Jokes About Relationships

1. Matt’s ideal relationship: someone who notices he’s there without walking on him constantly.
2. First date with Matt: he showed up early, lay down, and waited patiently. A perfect gentleman.
3. Matt’s relationship status: “It’s complicated — she walks all over me, but I let her because I love her.”
4. Matt doesn’t play hard to get. He plays hard to move.
5. In every relationship, Matt brings stability. Nobody said anything about excitement. 😄
6. Matt’s ex said he was too passive. He said, “Name one time I wasn’t there for you.” She couldn’t.
7. Matt’s love language: Acts of Support. Specifically structural ones.
8. What does Matt want in a partner? Someone who wipes their feet before entering. Basic respect.
9. Matt has been in a long-term relationship with the welcome mat industry. It’s complicated.
10. Matt doesn’t send mixed signals. He is literally flat. Zero ambiguity.
11. The most romantic thing Matt ever said: “I’ll be here when you leave, and I’ll be here when you get back.” 🙂
12. Matt’s biggest fear in relationships: someone finally moving on and getting a new mat.
13. You always know where you stand with Matt. You stand on him.
14. Matt’s idea of romance: showing up quietly, staying all night, and never complaining about the cold floor.
15. People say Matt is emotionally unavailable. He says he’s emotionally horizontal. There’s a difference.

Matt Jokes About Work and Career

1. Matt applied for a management position. They put him at the bottom of the organisational chart. He said, “Finally, accurate.”
2. Matt’s work motto: I support the team from below.
3. In every office, there is a Matt. He does twice the work, gets half the credit, and never leaves. 😄
4. Matt got a performance review: “Consistent, dependable, and impossible to remove.” He framed it.
5. Matt doesn’t climb the corporate ladder. He’s the thing you wipe your shoes on before going up.
6. Why did Matt get promoted? He had been there longer than the building.
7. Matt’s LinkedIn bio: “Grounded professional. Support-focused. Great under foot traffic.”
8. Matt’s boss said he needed to be more dynamic. Matt said, “I absorb footfall in six different materials.” 🙂
9. Matt doesn’t have a five-year plan. He has a five-year spot. Same thing.
10. Matt never calls in sick. He is simply always there. The floor can’t take a personal day.
11. What’s Matt’s best skill? Taking a lot of pressure without breaking down.
12. Matt’s colleagues respect him. They just do it from standing height.
13. Matt turned down the corner office. He said he prefers the doorway — better traffic. 😂
14. In every meeting, Matt is the foundation everyone stands on without realising it.
15. Matt’s retirement plan: be replaced by a slightly newer, slightly softer version of himself.

Matt Jokes About Everyday Life and Food

1. Matt’s morning routine: lie there while everyone steps over him on the way to coffee.
2. Matt’s favourite meal? Flatbread, obviously. Followed by a florentine.
3. Matt doesn’t do meal prep. He does floor prep. Different discipline, similar results.
4. Asked Matt what he wanted for dinner. He said, “Whatever lands on me.”
5. Matt’s favourite restaurant? Anything ground floor with walk-in seating. 😄
6. Matt doesn’t watch cooking shows — he’s the surface everything gets assembled on.
7. Matt’s ideal Sunday: horizontal, quiet, and being stepped over by the family dog.
8. Matt tried intermittent fasting. He just lay there not eating. He said, “I do this anyway.”
9. What does Matt order at a coffee shop? Something flat. Always something flat.
10. Matt’s grocery list: low-profile items, things that absorb liquid, and anything that doesn’t require height to reach. 🙂
11. Matt made dinner for everyone. The kitchen floor has never looked more useful.
12. Matt’s favourite bread? Flatbread. His favourite cake? A sheet cake. His favourite drink? Anything on the rocks — he identifies.
13. Matt does not do spicy food. He has enough heat coming from the hallway in summer.
14. Matt’s household contribution is invisible but foundational. Like seasoning. Or subflooring.
15. Matt’s version of a self-care day is everyone just agreeing not to step on him until noon. 😂

Matt Jokes About Hobbies and Interests

1. Matt’s hobby is staying in one place. He’s been training for it for years and is very good.
2. Matt tried hiking. He got to base camp, laid down, and said, “This is my hike.”
3. Matt’s favourite sport is any sport where the ball lands near him. He’s very involved.
4. Matt took up painting. He painted the floor. It made sense from where he was lying. 😄
5. Matt’s favourite book genre? Anything grounded in reality. From the ground, specifically.
6. Matt plays chess. He’s always the pawn that never quite moves forward.
7. Matt tried cycling. He lasted three minutes upright before his body reverted to its natural position.
8. Matt’s favourite film? Anything with a great opening.
9. Matt took a photography class. All his photos are from below. Artistically, it works. 🙂
10. Matt’s idea of a weekend adventure is moving to a different room.
11. Matt tried golf. He loved the part where everyone walks over the grass. He related deeply.
12. Matt collects things that lie flat: rugs, maps, pressed flowers, life regrets.
13. Matt does yoga. His best pose is Savasana. He has never attempted any other.
14. Matt started a garden. He became the path everyone walks down. He’s weirdly proud of it. 😂
15. Matt’s playlist is entirely ambient. He says loud music interferes with the ambience he provides.

Matt Jokes to Share on Social Media

1. “My friend Matt is so down to earth. Literally. That man has not been vertical since 2021.” — post this and watch every Matt you know send you a meme back.
2. POV: you’re texting Matt. He responds in two words, shows up immediately, and never leaves. A Mat-terpiece.
3. The funniest thing about Matt jokes is that every single Matt reads them and just nods. They know.
4. Tag a Matt who has absorbed more emotional damage than a hotel lobby doormat and still says “I’m fine.” 😄
5. When Matt says he’s “low maintenance,” he means it architecturally.
6. Hot take: Matt is not the main character. Matt is the setting. Every story happens on top of him.
7. Matt jokes hit different when your group chat is 40% people named Matt and they all just react with 🙂
8. “Matt is so grounded.” Yes. Foundationally. By design.
9. Nobody is more consistently in their spot than Matt. That man has coordinates.
10. Bestie check: does your group have a Matt? Because every group needs a Matt. The stable one. The flat one. The always-there one. 🙂
11. Matt’s social media presence: posts once every three months, has never taken a vertical photo, everyone likes it instantly.
12. When you meet a Matt, you don’t have to test them. They’ve already been tested. Heavily. By foot traffic.
13. The audacity of Matt jokes is that they roast Matt by saying he’s loyal, reliable, and always there. He takes it as a compliment. He is correct. 😂
14. Share this with a Matt who deserves recognition for holding everything together from below.
15. Matt’s entire personality, in tweet form: “here. still here. yeah still here. you’re welcome.”

Funny Matt Quotes and Sayings

1. “A good Matt will outlast the house he’s in.” — No one, but it feels true.
2. “Be like Matt. Show up early, stay late, and never complain about the shoes.” 😄
3. “The ground beneath your feet was probably a Matt in a past life.”
4. “Matt doesn’t need credit. He needs people to stop wearing muddy boots inside.”
5. “In every great story, there is a Matt. He’s the ground. You just didn’t notice him.”
6. “Be the Matt in someone’s life — steady, present, and impossible to replace once they lose you.” 🙂
7. “Matt’s wisdom: position yourself where everyone needs to pass through, and you’ll never be irrelevant.”
8. “A Matt remembered is a house with good flooring. A Matt forgotten is a cold, hard floor.”
9. “They say still waters run deep. Matt doesn’t run at all. He lies still and carries everything anyway.”
10. “If Matt had a motto, it would be: ‘I was here before you arrived and I’ll be here after you leave.'” 😂
11. “Not everyone needs to stand tall to stand out. Some of us are doing critical work from the ground up.”
12. “The most underrated thing in any home is the Matt at the door. He does more in a day than most people do in a week.”
13. “Be a Matt. Not because it’s easy, but because the world desperately needs something steady to stand on.”
14. “Matt’s law: the quieter you are, the more people walk on you. And that’s okay — they needed somewhere to land.”
15. “Three things you can always count on: gravity, sunrise, and Matt being exactly where you left him.” 🙂

Frequently Asked Questions About Matt Jokes

What makes Matt jokes so funny compared to other name jokes?

Matt jokes land because the name doubles as a common noun — a mat — which creates instant, automatic wordplay without having to force it.

Are Matt jokes appropriate for all ages?

Most Matt jokes are completely clean and work for kids and adults alike; this article includes a dedicated clean section and a kids section specifically for family-friendly use.

Where can I use Matt jokes — are they good for birthday cards or roasts?

Matt jokes work brilliantly for birthday roasts, group chats, social media captions, or any situation where a Matt needs to be gently and affectionately mocked.

Why do name puns like Matt jokes work from a linguistic standpoint?

Name puns exploit homophony — the same sound carrying two meanings simultaneously — which is why linguists and humour researchers have found wordplay uniquely satisfying to the brain, triggering both comprehension and surprise at once.

How many Matt jokes are in this article?

This article contains well over 300 Matt jokes organised across 17 themed categories, from one liners and knock knock jokes to workplace humour and social media-ready quips.

Closing Thoughts

There’s a reason name jokes have survived every era of comedy — they’re personal without being cruel, clever without being cold. A well-crafted Matt joke doesn’t punch down at anyone; it finds the hidden geometry of a word and makes you appreciate the coincidence of language. Humour like this connects people, and when you send someone a joke that makes them laugh because they know a Matt, or because they are the Matt, you’ve done something quietly lovely.

If Matt jokes have taught us anything, it’s that you don’t need to be the loudest voice in the room to be the most important one. Sometimes the funniest, most grounding presence is the one everyone steps on without noticing — until the day they do. Share these freely, send them to your Matt, and remember that good humour, like a good doormat, never really goes out of style.

“A pun is the lowest form of humour — when you don’t think of it first.” — Oscar Wilde